We are still friends!

She msn me today, asked if I am interested to go to Halloween Party in Ocean Party with Ting and her.
I said, "No, not interested to go with Ting and u."

I have no idea why I would say like that, but I know I would say this kind of things one day.
I am not meaning to hurt anybody (I am hurt as well), but I just have no intention to say anything polite at that moment.

Then...we started to "chat" deep inside and I come to a conclusion that we won't be best friends as before since I can't treat her as good as before. But we are still friends.

I really hurt at that time even though I know I am hurting another one at the same time.
I know it's all me to decide how our friendship goes.
But....no matter what she did, I just can't relieved.

Sometimes, I am happy to chat with her for hours when she calls.
But....when she haven't called me after weeks, when she don't showed up in our gathering, I get angry and don't want to see or hear from her anymore.

She said she still cares about me, but I just don't feel it for these days. Sorry.
All her cares go for another one, leaving all her friends alone.

I know I am childish, but I just want to be treated as equal as I am.

I have no idea what we will be, but I am not keen to think about it right now, just let it be. Tme may heal "it" one day.